poltjunkies.blogg.se

My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. Unknown Funny Quotes That Are Self-Deprecating Not texting back is only ok when I do it. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’? Unknown We’re feeding each other like baby birds. You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music. If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. UnknownĬonfidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. There are two rules in life: 1) Never give out all the information. Elbert HubbardĬheck our ultimate Peace of Mind Checklist.Īll generalizations are false, including this one. The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. Zach Galifianakisĭo not take life too seriously. I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts, and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, and backgrounds. Funny Quotes That ARE… Short Funny Quotes And Humorous Lines If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld Part 2. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. If you’re too open-minded your brains will fall out. I would rather lose you than the argument. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I don’t understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Mark TwainĪ lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Bill Murray I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I invite you to STOP, take a break, and enjoy a funny video or show of one of your favorite comedian. Most of us, myself included, are always living the next-thing-next-thing-next-thing, without stopping. With the seriousness and busyness of modern life, it’s too easy to forget the importance and benefits of relaxing, chilling, and having fun with friends. Isn’t it great when you have a truly good laugh?ĭon’t you have the impression that time stops and you’re 100% in the moment, appreciating it? It consists of 30 inspirational quotes followed by my devotion to how you can apply the message of that quote in your life.A few quick thoughts on fun and laughing…

If you’re a fan of quotes, you will absolutely adore my ebook, Victory Over Affliction: 30 Mindset Challenges to Motivate You.

I hope you enjoyed my collection of positive funny quotes. “It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.” – Unknown “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin “Aspire to inspire before you Expire!” – Eugene Bell Jr. “I never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain “Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” – Benjamin Franklin “Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get.

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde Positive Funny Thinking Quotes “By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.” – Mark Twain But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill.” – Emo Philips “I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. “I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.” – Mitch Hedberg “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” – Elvis Presley Positive Funny Quotes Because a Day Without Laughter is Like a Day Without Sunshine!